Whose to Blame?

One of my NVC students had the realization which is basic to both NVC (this was only the third class) and to my Teamwork Marriage Mediation method:

"What a magnificent realization that another person isn't ever be the real source of my feelings. The real source of my upset is always my own unmet needs. That realization puts me in a much more resourceful state to solicit the other's help instead of alienating him or her. Who wants to help when they're feeling blamed? Everyone wants to help when they're valued as a resource, rather than vilified as the problem's source."

Who indeed?